On The Face Of It

On the face of it, everything was ticking along nicely for Mr Lovelace, that is to say, he was too busy with life to be troubled.

Until one afternoon, when all the family were out shopping, he slumped to the floor, exhausted, in front of the hallway mirror .

And suddenly Gordon realized that twenty years had passed since he had last taken stock of himself, and the years had not been kind.

“I haven’t even gone bald well” he said to Banjo the dog, whose own struggles with scabies had caused her to become sour and angry in recent months.

Taking some toiletries and as much underwear as he could fit into his satchel he left the house for the last time, leaving a poorly written apology for his wife and some ham and pickle sandwiches for the kids.

I never heard from him again, but to the great relief of the remaining Lovelace clan Banjo’s mange cleared up nicely.